By Stuart Briscoe

My computer boasts many bells and whistles, most of which I do not understand, and many of which I have never attempted to use. But one of my favorite little bells or whistles — I’m not sure which is which — is I.M. or Instant Messaging. For the uninitiated, Instant Messaging is the ingenious system that lets me know, if I’m online, that others near and dear – or not so near and nowhere near so dear – to me are also online and I am free to send them a message. It will get to them quicker than I can explain it and they can reply in less time than that takes. Amazing!

This morning I logged on in Toronto, Canada, and my I.M. told me my wife Jill was online in Krasnodar, Russia. That meant that I could type in a few words, press a button, and send an instant message to which she could instantaneously reply. True, I could not hear her voice, but I could read her words, even read between the lines. I could know her thoughts and even sense her concerns, across nine time zones — a third of the way around the world.

I sent my first I.M. to Jill years before computers were invented. In fact, it was the first day I saw her. Outside, the rain was beating against the windows of the British manor house; inside, dozens of young people were creating an atmosphere of vibrant, noisy animation. In one fleeting second, our eyes met across the crowded room and we were aware of each other so vividly it was as if the room had emptied and no one else was within a mile. My instant message was: “I’d like to know you.” Her unspoken reply was tinged with the ghost of a smile and an abrupt turning away of the face — “I’ve noticed you, too!” Love at first sight? Depends how you define love, I suppose. But in some mysterious way our messages were transmitted and received in just a glance. Well, as you can imagine, we didn’t leave things there! Subsequent weeks and months were filled with letters and phone calls and periodic visits which one day culminated in a splendid occasion when, in the simplest of instant messages, we said, “I do.”

Once safely married, the instant messaging didn’t cease! I discovered this on my honeymoon. These were the dim and distant days when we used to dress up at every opportunity rather than dress down at every excuse. So I was wearing a jacket and tie and Jill suggested which tie I should wear. I replied, “I’m perfectly capable of picking my own ties, thank you.” Now there was no doubt about the factuality of my response. I was capable. I had been doing it for years. That was not the problem. It was the tone of ungraciousness. Startled, Jill literally stepped back and looked at me, bewildered. An instant message of boorishness was reciprocated by a message of hurt!

That incident illustrates that instant messaging is not necessarily subtle! In fact, under some circumstances, the less subtle the better. On one occasion in trying to make suitable conversation, Jill went on at length about the healthy tan of the gentleman to whom she had been introduced. She was, of course, oblivious to the fact that he was a man of Anglo-Indian descent, until I instant messaged her by standing on her toe! She got the message!

As one of my friends was preaching one day, his wife was instant messaging him by shaking her head and wiping the side of her nose. He realized that he must have some foreign object hanging on his visage so he vigorously wiped it off. But she shook her head again and continued to wipe both sides of her face throughout the sermon. After the service, on inquiry, he discovered she was trying to tell him that he kept on wiping his face while he spoke. Instant messages can be misleading, though not always. I remember a woman telling me, “Every time I try to tell my husband something, he gets up and walks out of the room. We can’t communicate.” I replied, “You two are not failing to communicate. Your husband is communicating silently and unmistakably that he doesn’t want to listen to you.”

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