Also read: • Face to Face • The Friendship Factor

For 11 years I have been an enthusiastic participant of a peer-mentoring group. Four women meet once a month to listen to and pray for each other. The group has surprised me with joy. We are peers in spiritual commitment rather than age, for the other three women in the group are a generation younger than me. We are mentors in an unplanned but highly significant sense. As we listen to one another share about the past month, we learn how she has managed with God's help. Her imperfect, but eager, Christianity helps the rest of us as we listen. So, without realizing it, each in turn mentors the others.

More specifics about how our group works are listed at the right, but here are some general aspects:

• The group works because we are spiritually at about the same place. In other groups we are involved with, we disciple or lead. This is a group where equals encourage each other.
• We trust one another, so we don't need to be concerned about keeping confidences.
• Month after month, the three who arrive at my house throw themselves into chairs and blurt out: "I'm so glad to be here!" This sense of relief comes, I think, because we all feel safe enough to really relax.
• The purpose of the group is to encourage and strengthen one another by careful listening and prayer. It is a luxury to talk out our month with women who love us. The stories we share are simply the stories of what happened in us and to us since we last met.

How does mentoring work?

1. We limited our group to four, because only four stories will fit into one evening!

2. Meeting only once a month is ideal for busy women.

3. We are not all from the same church or social circles. That is helpful, but not essential. We are not a secret group, but neither do we tell other people what takes place when we meet. Because we don't often see each other between meetings, we don't need to be careful about what we say in other settings.

4. An intentional part of our evenings is to keep all of our comments on holy ground - to be aware of God's presence, to seek Him in all that is said and done.

5. Toward this end, we always begin with worship. Someone brings a Bible passage that has been meaningful to her, and we read, discuss and pray. This sets the tone for our times together. Almost always, the passage we study throws light on a struggle, question or a blessing that comes up in our sharing time. God does that.

6. Prayer notebooks are the journals in which we record prayer requests, praises and mini schedules for the coming month. Three of us busily write while the fourth woman tells us what has been happening, and adds what she expects to take place in the coming month, asking us for prayer or sharing praises. Often we stop and pray for a sister right as she is speaking. Sometimes, we even find ourselves weeping with each other, and now and then a deep and restful silence settles over us as we sense God's presence. Other times, we laugh so hard that we nearly fall off our chairs, as we share the ridiculous or the comical in our lives.

7. We have coffee and something. The something may be frozen yogurt or an elaborate pastry picked up on someone's way to the group. Anything is appreciated, but the treats do not dominate our precious time.

8. The group has become a place of great safety, where truth is foundational and kindness characteristic. We are able to bear repeated prayer needs. We are sisters.

Also read:
• Face to Face
• The Friendship Factor

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