Keeping Marriage HOT Pam Farrel


In my books Red Hot Monogamy and 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband, I give over 200 red hot ideas and one idea a week to make this your (and his) best year ever!

   There are many euphemisms for sex and romance that are related to red, hot, or fire. Think about it, “Come on baby, light my fire,” or “Hunka hunka burnin’ love,” and Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project, is known for her t-shirt, “Married to a Hottie!”

   My husband Bill and I say in our book Red Hot Monogamy that sex was God’s secret long before it was Victoria’s secret! Red hot romance doesn’t have to be only for that once in a lifetime Hawaiian getaway—it can be HOT at HOME! Consider this acronym for H.O.T. and fan the flame to set the heart of your man aflame!

H is for Hear my Heart

Romance is personal. Maybe your love has wanted to experience something unique like:

  • Retro Romance: Dress like you did on your first date! (Yes, consignment shops have clothes from the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s!)
  • Recreate Newlywed Days: Park in your own backyard like “Lover’s Lane” and steam up the car windows a bit.
  • Rescue Dinner: Eat someplace different in your home, such as in front of the fireplace, on the rooftop, on the patio or balcony out back, in the attic, or under the tree in the backyard.
  • Rendezvous: Create a luau in the living room! Borrow some plants, get some island music, throw down some beach towels, bring in luau food, an wear your sarong or bathing suit.

O is for Offer to Lower His Stress

Men, when surveyed for our book Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, noted that what is romantic to them is a woman who will make their life easier.

  • “Kidnap” your spouse and blindfold him and take him home for a romantic rendezvous. (Send the kids to your best friends!)
  • Bring in breakfast in bed with an invitation to spend the whole day in bed.
  • Exercise together, ride a tandem bike, or dance in the living room.
  • Run a bubble bath by candlelight followed by a spa-quality massage by you.

T is for Take Your Time to Romance Me

  • Relax: Sit in front of the fireplace in each other’s arms and take turns reading poems to each other or flip through photo albums. Or, offer romance his style—watch the game and only talk during the commercials!
  • Recount: Creatively remind your man why you love him:

·         Use everyday items to send a unique set of messages: the title of a candy bar with a note that says, “You are a ‘Big Hunk’ of Burning Love,” or “I’m ‘Red Hot’ for Your Love.” You can even use items in your home: a note on the stairs reading “I love to STAIR at you!” or on the door: “You’ve opened the DOOR to my heart.”

·         Write your own “feature” article about your spouse, the “World’s Greatest Lover.” Include all his best traits as a lover, add in a picture of this famous lover and frame it!

·         Write on his bare back clues of “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways” and see if he can guess why you have a “burning” desire for him.

For more ideas for Recession Romance or other relationship articles go to or download a free chapter from 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband.